Self Help for Social Anxiety

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Monday, August 17th, 2009 Subscribe To Our Feed

Many people experience some level of shyness or anxiety when faced with new or uncomfortable situations. Making a speech before a crowd. Trying to start a conversation with that cute stranger next to you at the bar. Being dragged onto the dance floor. All of these situations can lead to some degree of nervousness. However, some people actually can suffer through serious physical and mental stress when faced with these types of social interactions. These reactions are indicators of a condition known as social anxiety. There are techniques that can be utlized to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety, but the first step is to understand why some people react so severely.

Shyness can be caused by many social triggers. People with low self esteem typically suffer from some degree of social anxiety. Excessive worry over what other people think and a related fear of rejection are also strong drivers of social anxiety. Memories of perceived past social missteps can also lead to an avoidance of any social interaction that might risk a repeat of the blunder.

For anyone who experiences radical reactions to uncomfortable social situations, or who even just feels shy in certain situations, there are some quick tips that can help.

Begin making little changes in your behavior

Acknowledge the people you encounter. Nod, smile, and say hello. Whatever’s appropriate.

Keep your eyes focused on the person you’re talking with. You come off as confident when you look a person in the eye.

Go out of your way to strike up a conversation with a co-worker. Nothing high pressure. Just talk about weekend plans or some other chit-chat subject.

By taking these small steps, over time you will begin to build confidence in your ability to socially interact.

Adjust your attitude

A two prong approach to changing the way you think and react can help alleviate social anxiety. One, change any unrealistic expectations you have around your own performance or behavior. You don’t have to “get it right” every time. And two, recognize that people will not condemn you because you occasionally “get it wrong”.

You will occasionally trip when dancing. You will occasionally fumble your words when giving a presentation. And you will occasionally come off looking silly when trying to hit on a stranger in a bar. We all do.

Have something to say

Do you cringe when you have to make small talk at a party? Try discussing something that you know. Find a common interest that will engage all members of the conversation. Study up and become knowledgeable about current events. That’s always a safe topic.

Practice good conversation skills

Don’t simply ask questions that lead to simple yes-no answers. Try to ask open ended questions or make broad comments that will encourage more discussion.

Speak in a slightly louder voice

Shy people typically speak in soft, hard to hear voices. When in conversation, talk moderately louder than you normally would.

Overcoming social anxiety can be as simple as adopting simple changes to your behavior. In addition, there are various self help social anxiety programs that offer a wide range of instructional and motivational techniques. One of the most powerful self help social anxiety programs is Social Anxiety Secrets by Dr. Todd Snyder. His program utilizes both downloadable e-book and audio materials to provide a step by step plan to cure shyness and social anxiety.

Click to read a review of Social Anxiety Secrets.

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